Rebuilding forks

This is from a couple years ago but I still think it's funny...

Itinerary of a Fork Rebuild


Play around with pressures in upper and lower chambers.
Play around with blow off valve pressure.
Sit on bike, pretend to be riding.
Put fan in front for effect
Turn fan on for greater effect
make vrooming noises and lean into wall to simulate turns.
fall down

Get off bike and play around with pressures some more
Squat down to check brake caliper clearance
Hear loud POP,

immediately determine it wasnt from my knees or back.

feel relief

Look over bike, see that right front top wiper seal has dislodged and is leaking oil
Panic; "EEEEK, NOW what will I do???!!!???"
Immediately envision sending fork off for rebuild and not being able to ride for several weeks
Consider the cost.
Hold back tears.
Consider local bike shop for rebuild.
Envision no riding for several weeks
consider cost
Hold back tears again
Make emergency call to friend who may have done this before.
Realize that the only two mechanical devices that intimidate me to repair are my transmission and my fork.
remember I'm planning to repair my tranny as soon as my parts come in, no longer feel intimidated by tranny repair.
realize if I can repair my tranny, surely I can repair my fork
Make lame joke about not calling me shirley
Crack open a beer and google "fork rebuild"
realize that some people have waaaay too much time on their hands after looking at webpages detailing table forks, potato forks and pitch forks
Streamline google process: Google "Reba SL fork rebuild"
Find successful forum page on MTBR.com
finish beer and realize that I can and will do this.
Open another beer and begin taking fork apart.
take out basin to catch oil
remove bottom air valve nut
unscrew rebound control bolt
tap fork on counter
make mental note to complain to manager about crappy counter tops
spill oil everywhere but inside the basin
slip and slide and fall down making mental note to complain to manager about crappy floors
lose beer "where the heck did I leave it?"
open another beer.
Wonder if Lance ever had to deal with stuff like this.
Finish taking fork apart. Wow, way more complicated than I thought. Look at all these weird parts.
Read service manual, lose interest.
Find lost beer, drink both and surf the net.
Go to bed, sleep.

Wake up, clean fork parts.
Too early for beer.
Find beer from last week. ``What the heck is it doing in the micro wave?``
Phone local bike shops for oil prices.
Be sticker shocked. $30 a liter?????
Get tip from weird sounding bike dude at shop "go to motor sports shop, same oil, lots cheaper"
It's a holiday, no oil today. Take single speed for a ride.


Come home from work, found oil for $11 a litre, feel smug cuz I beat the LBS price.
Go to pharmacy for syringe.
Flirt with cute pharmacist. Make mental note of her pretty eyes and laugh.
Notice that in spite of being so charming, suprisingly I'm STILL SINGLE... be amazed.
Hold door open for old people on way out of store.
Make mental note of how happy they looked that someone was nice to them
Make mental note to be nice to more old people.
Make mental note to be nice to Dorning and Paul Seier... they qualify.

Go home, crack beer and google "old people"
be shocked at how many porn sites come up
Google "beer"
lose interest

Google "ADD"

wander off ``OOOH Shiny thing!!``

Start putting shock back together: ``who needs instructions``
take it all apart again; ``I need instructions``
remember blind date later; make lame joke about preferring a woman who can see
shower, get ready for date, go on date.
Realize why I'm still single. Remember funny story about MDH quotes "the more women I meet the more I like my bike"
wonder if there are ANY normal women out there anymore.
Hope blind date doesnt stalk me...
Go to gym after blind date; hope that cute girl I talked to last week is there again...

Take shock to work to work on at firehall
watch videos on SRAM site 100 times
watch once more
Attempt putting shock back together with oil and air and parts
explain to captain what I'm doing
add oil
explain to driver what I'm doing
add air
explain to rookie why we still call him "new guy" and has to put up the flag every morning

Take shock home and reinstall on bike
Sit on bike and observe shock reaction
pretend to be riding.
Put fan in front for effect
Turn fan on for greater effect
make vrooming noises and lean into wall to simulate turns.
fall down

Pronounce shock fixed
celebrate with a beer
be smugly happy that I did it myself

be amazed I'm still single
have another beer
go to bed and dream about Maah Daah Hey