This is from a couple years ago but I still think it's funny...
Itinerary of a Fork Rebuild
Play around with pressures in upper and lower chambers.
Play around with blow off valve pressure.
Sit on bike, pretend to be riding.
Put fan in front for effect
Turn fan on for greater effect
make vrooming noises and lean into wall to simulate turns.
fall down
Get off bike and play around with pressures some more
Squat down to check brake caliper clearance
Hear loud POP,
immediately determine it wasnt from my knees or back.
feel relief
Look over bike, see that right front top wiper seal has dislodged and is leaking oil
Panic; "EEEEK, NOW what will I do???!!!???"
Immediately envision sending fork off for rebuild and not being able to ride for several weeks
Consider the cost.
Hold back tears.
Consider local bike shop for rebuild.
Envision no riding for several weeks
consider cost
Hold back tears again
Make emergency call to friend who may have done this before.
Realize that the only two mechanical devices that intimidate me to repair are my transmission and my fork.
remember I'm planning to repair my tranny as soon as my parts come in, no longer feel intimidated by tranny repair.
realize if I can repair my tranny, surely I can repair my fork
Make lame joke about not calling me shirley
Crack open a beer and google "fork rebuild"
realize that some people have waaaay too much time on their hands after looking at webpages detailing table forks, potato forks and pitch forks
Streamline google process: Google "Reba SL fork rebuild"
Find successful forum page on MTBR.com
finish beer and realize that I can and will do this.
Open another beer and begin taking fork apart.
take out basin to catch oil
remove bottom air valve nut
unscrew rebound control bolt
tap fork on counter
make mental note to complain to manager about crappy counter tops
spill oil everywhere but inside the basin
slip and slide and fall down making mental note to complain to manager about crappy floors
lose beer "where the heck did I leave it?"
open another beer.
Wonder if Lance ever had to deal with stuff like this.
Finish taking fork apart. Wow, way more complicated than I thought. Look at all these weird parts.
Read service manual, lose interest.
Find lost beer, drink both and surf the net.
Go to bed, sleep.
Wake up, clean fork parts.
Too early for beer.
Find beer from last week. ``What the heck is it doing in the micro wave?``
Phone local bike shops for oil prices.
Be sticker shocked. $30 a liter?????
Get tip from weird sounding bike dude at shop "go to motor sports shop, same oil, lots cheaper"
It's a holiday, no oil today. Take single speed for a ride.
Come home from work, found oil for $11 a litre, feel smug cuz I beat the LBS price.
Go to pharmacy for syringe.
Flirt with cute pharmacist. Make mental note of her pretty eyes and laugh.
Notice that in spite of being so charming, suprisingly I'm STILL SINGLE... be amazed.
Hold door open for old people on way out of store.
Make mental note of how happy they looked that someone was nice to them
Make mental note to be nice to more old people.
Make mental note to be nice to Dorning and Paul Seier... they qualify.
Go home, crack beer and google "old people"
be shocked at how many porn sites come up
Google "beer"
lose interest
Google "ADD"
wander off ``OOOH Shiny thing!!``
Start putting shock back together: ``who needs instructions``
take it all apart again; ``I need instructions``
remember blind date later; make lame joke about preferring a woman who can see
shower, get ready for date, go on date.
Realize why I'm still single. Remember funny story about MDH quotes "the more women I meet the more I like my bike"
wonder if there are ANY normal women out there anymore.
Hope blind date doesnt stalk me...
Go to gym after blind date; hope that cute girl I talked to last week is there again...
Take shock to work to work on at firehall
watch videos on SRAM site 100 times
watch once more
Attempt putting shock back together with oil and air and parts
explain to captain what I'm doing
add oil
explain to driver what I'm doing
add air
explain to rookie why we still call him "new guy" and has to put up the flag every morning
Take shock home and reinstall on bike
Sit on bike and observe shock reaction
pretend to be riding.
Put fan in front for effect
Turn fan on for greater effect
make vrooming noises and lean into wall to simulate turns.
fall down
Pronounce shock fixed
celebrate with a beer
be smugly happy that I did it myself
be amazed I'm still single
have another beer
go to bed and dream about Maah Daah Hey
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
Response to an athiest's claim about "truth"
You state that truth shows there is no God.
I say:
There is no evidence that supports love. You cannot prove scientifically that you romantically love your wife, yet we steadfastly hold on to the archaic belief of love. It cannot be proven, support for it is basically anecdotal and is firmly based on feelings and the faith that what we believe we feel is what we have described as "love" when in fact it is more likely to be a chemical hormonal reaction and a co-dependancy relationship that develops as a result of said chemical/hormonal reaction. What tricks do you use to convince yourself that you actually love your wife? What hard scientific evidence can you produce to convince me: a love skeptic?
Love is a fantasy that we convince ourselves of because we are afraid of the truth. We appeal to security, faith, fear of being alone, tradition, emotion and dogma yet logic and critical examination cleary shows us a convincely lack of evidence to prove this ridiculous notion of love.
I choose not to be self delusional and not to accept unsubstantiated claims of "love". I refuse to hang on to beliefs because I am afraid of the reality that what we call love is merely a chemical reaction in my brain brought on by a natural instinct to reproduce and any relationship that ensues is merely a co-dependency based on mutual benefit alone and has absolutely nothing to do with love. Love is a myth, a fantasy, a delusion.
I see no evidence that love exists. Any claim that our actions of benevolence are based in love are simply lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel good about that benevolence when it is simply for our own feelings of goodness about ourselves that produce said actions of benevolence. These actions are purely selfishly motivated for what we get out of it.
I too choose to believe the truth, whatever it turns out to be and because of the lack of evidence for love I choose to abandon my belief in it.
I do this because living my life searching for something that so clearly does not exist is a waste of energy and is about as useful as driving a car with my eyes shut and trying to pedal a bicycle at the same time.
Or I can have faith that it does exist because without faith then nothing outside of the physical world exists. Not love, not friendship, not sadness, not guilt, not redemption, not loneliness, not hatred or joy. Without faith I have no loyalty, no reason to help anyone at any time if I don't believe I will receive some compensation as a result of that aid. Without faith I have no reason to counsel my friends to try to save or even put any effort into their marraiges. In fact, I should be prosletyzing them to become divorced because clearly love does not exist and being independent is infinately more satisfying than co-dependence. Selfishness is infinately more productive than sacrificial.
Does love exist? I believe it does. I don't need proof.
Does God exist? I believe He does and that He is the author of all love.
I hope love exists for me. I know God does. I have faith in both.
Ephesians 2:8-9 (New International Version, ©2010)
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
1 Corinthians 1:18-25
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
20 Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
I say:
There is no evidence that supports love. You cannot prove scientifically that you romantically love your wife, yet we steadfastly hold on to the archaic belief of love. It cannot be proven, support for it is basically anecdotal and is firmly based on feelings and the faith that what we believe we feel is what we have described as "love" when in fact it is more likely to be a chemical hormonal reaction and a co-dependancy relationship that develops as a result of said chemical/hormonal reaction. What tricks do you use to convince yourself that you actually love your wife? What hard scientific evidence can you produce to convince me: a love skeptic?
Love is a fantasy that we convince ourselves of because we are afraid of the truth. We appeal to security, faith, fear of being alone, tradition, emotion and dogma yet logic and critical examination cleary shows us a convincely lack of evidence to prove this ridiculous notion of love.
I choose not to be self delusional and not to accept unsubstantiated claims of "love". I refuse to hang on to beliefs because I am afraid of the reality that what we call love is merely a chemical reaction in my brain brought on by a natural instinct to reproduce and any relationship that ensues is merely a co-dependency based on mutual benefit alone and has absolutely nothing to do with love. Love is a myth, a fantasy, a delusion.
I see no evidence that love exists. Any claim that our actions of benevolence are based in love are simply lies we tell ourselves to make ourselves feel good about that benevolence when it is simply for our own feelings of goodness about ourselves that produce said actions of benevolence. These actions are purely selfishly motivated for what we get out of it.
I too choose to believe the truth, whatever it turns out to be and because of the lack of evidence for love I choose to abandon my belief in it.
I do this because living my life searching for something that so clearly does not exist is a waste of energy and is about as useful as driving a car with my eyes shut and trying to pedal a bicycle at the same time.
Or I can have faith that it does exist because without faith then nothing outside of the physical world exists. Not love, not friendship, not sadness, not guilt, not redemption, not loneliness, not hatred or joy. Without faith I have no loyalty, no reason to help anyone at any time if I don't believe I will receive some compensation as a result of that aid. Without faith I have no reason to counsel my friends to try to save or even put any effort into their marraiges. In fact, I should be prosletyzing them to become divorced because clearly love does not exist and being independent is infinately more satisfying than co-dependence. Selfishness is infinately more productive than sacrificial.
Does love exist? I believe it does. I don't need proof.
Does God exist? I believe He does and that He is the author of all love.
I hope love exists for me. I know God does. I have faith in both.
Ephesians 2:8-9 (New International Version, ©2010)
8 For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— 9 not by works, so that no one can boast.
1 Corinthians 1:18-25
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God. 19 For it is written:
“I will destroy the wisdom of the wise; the intelligence of the intelligent I will frustrate.”
20 Where is the wise person? Where is the teacher of the law? Where is the philosopher of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of the world? 21 For since in the wisdom of God the world through its wisdom did not know him, God was pleased through the foolishness of what was preached to save those who believe. 22 Jews demand signs and Greeks look for wisdom, 23 but we preach Christ crucified: a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, 24 but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God. 25 For the foolishness of God is wiser than human wisdom, and the weakness of God is stronger than human strength.
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