I am a Winnipeger...

I am a winnipeger.


I will not tolerate mosquitoes but I will protest the spraying of chemicals.

I will drive my car through snow banks and complain that snow clearing is too slow.

I will support development and growth in our city as long as its not where I live.

I will complain about the heat, the cold, the dryness and the humidity.

I will hate cyclists and insist they get off the road but I will refuse to consider public money for a bike path.

I will not let you into my lane and I will not make eye contact when you are trying to merge.

I will insist on my rights at the expense of yours.

I drive everywhere in spite of the price of gas.

I scorn Saskatchewan even though they’re leaving us behind

I won’t vote in the civic elections but I will complain about whoever won.

I don’t know my city councillors name but he’s doing a horrible job.

I don’t know my neighbours, I don’t know my co-workers and I will not let anyone intrude into my cliques.

I love hating this city, I hate loving this city.

It’s too cold, it’s too hot, it’s too humid, it’s too snowy but gosh darn it I will not move.

I am a winnipeger.

I suck.